How to fail a sobriety test

Want to know how you can tell if you are going to fail a drink driving, or sobriety, test? It's pretty simple. If you follow this guys lead then you can be fairly confident you wont score a pass.

Posted under Videos

This post was written by VikingIdiot on April 28, 2009

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Dog Judo

Did you know that the word Judo means "gentle way"? Well that's according to wikipedia, so it must be true.  I'm not exactly convinced that Judo is the gentle way. The idea of buffed up dudes grappling each other to the ground and applying choke holds doesn't strike me as the most gentle of activities, particularly in comparison to knitting.

Judo is big, and I didn't know just how big it was until I saw that the animal kingdom is even into it. Canines, for example, seem to love it!

A Judo power date.

A Judo purist.

Kind of busy.

Apparently Judo can be anything, including guns.

Too busy for Judo? Bollocks!

He got mugged and lost his sausages.

Posted under Animal Crackers, Videos

This post was written by VikingIdiot on March 11, 2009

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Teenage Catgirls in Heat

Just when you think that you've seen everything (and no, I'm not talking about a man eating his own head), here is a movie trailer for the must see film of the millennium, Teenage Catgirls in Heat.

Everything about it screams quality.

Apparently the plot (perhaps plot is used loosely) involves an Egyptian cat goddess who transforms normal cats into Teenage Catgirls. Just so happens that the Catgirls are also in heat. What are the odds?

Fortunately, Amazon currently seem to stock the DVD. Get it while you can!

Hat tip to Mr Blankshooting for the ye olde heads up.

Posted under Videos

This post was written by VikingIdiot on January 12, 2009

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A tropical Skittles paradise

Woohoo biatches! A new Skittles commercial!

This one focuses on a happy place. A nice little tropical island paradise.

What does this ad prove? Well, if you ever find yourself at the end of a rainbow, poke your head through, and you'll no doubt see a relaxed looking dude, he can talk your ears off about Skittles all day.

Raise your hand if you want some Skittles now.

Posted under Bizarre Ads, Videos

This post was written by VikingIdiot on October 13, 2008

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The Skittles Sheep

It is possible that I have an obsession with the Skittle commercials. I think that you are either the type of person that loves the Skittles ads or the type of person that hates them. Clearly I love them.

I posted the grown man raised by birds not all that long ago, so here's a companion ad, the Skittles Sheep Dudes.

As with all the other Skittles ads, this one is very random.

Racing Champions 1996 NASCAR Skittles 36 Racing Champions 1996 NASCAR Skittles 36 Paypal 0 Bid US $9.99 3h

Taste the rainbow!

Posted under Bizarre Ads, Videos

This post was written by VikingIdiot on October 9, 2008

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Ever seen a grown man raised by birds?

The Skittles Leak Ad is one of my all time favorite ads. If you want to check out some of the other Skittles ads I highly recommend them.

The Skittles ad below is just as bizarre as any of the other ones I've seen. Bizarre yet strangely compelling.

Ever seen a grown man raised by birds?

Racing Champions 1996 NASCAR Skittles 36 Racing Champions 1996 NASCAR Skittles 36 Paypal 0 Bid US $9.99 3h

Posted under Bizarre Ads, Videos

This post was written by VikingIdiot on September 29, 2008

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The Best of Bogan

If you're in the market for some bogan jokes, then here are a few that may inspire you.

Q. What do you call a 30 year old bogan girl?
A. Grandma.

Q. Why did the bogan girl cross the road?
A. To start a fight with a complete stranger for no reason whatsoever.

Q. What do you call a bogan girl in a white tracksuit?
A. The bride.

Q. What's the first question during a bogan quiz night?
A. What you looking at?

Q. Two bogan kids in a car without any music - who is driving?
A. The policeman.

Q. What's the difference between a bogan boy and a bogan girl?
A. A bogan girl has a higher sperm count.

Q. What does a bogan girl use as protection during sex?
A. A bus shelter.

Q. How do you know if you're a bogan?
A. You let your 15 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table... in front of her kids.

Q. If you are driving and you see a bogan on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?
A. It might be your bike.

------

A bogan walked into the centerlink office, marched straight up to the counter and said, 'Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job.'

The worker behind the counter said, 'Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful 30 year old daughter.

You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, and he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips and you will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The salary is $200,000 a year.'

The guy, wide-eyed, said, 'You're bullsh!ttin' me!'

The Centerlink worker said, 'Yeah, well . . . you started it.'
Read More...

Posted under Stupid, Stupid Jokes, Videos

This post was written by VikingIdiot on September 22, 2008

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Monkey Lord of the Dance

Ahhhh dancing monkeys. Is there anything better?

Apparently Michael Flatley trained these monkeys for three years, teaching them all the moves, receiving nothing but bananas for a reward. The monkey's themselves were paid $50 a day.

If you want to check out some other stupid monkey stuff, go have a gander at this monkey pulling a tigers tail... stupid stupid monkey...

Let's dance!

G897 PF Monkey School Messenger Shoulder Bag G897 PF Monkey School Messenger Shoulder Bag Paypal 0 Bid US $.49 15m
White Green Jade Two Monkeys Moneybag Yuanbao Pendant White Green Jade Two Monkeys Moneybag Yuanbao Pendant Paypal 0 Bid US $.01 17m
Paul Frank Monkey Hard Cover Case Skin Iphone 4 4G 4th Paul Frank Monkey Hard Cover Case Skin Iphone 4 4G 4th Paypal 0 Bid US $.01 17m

Posted under Animal Crackers, Videos

This post was written by VikingIdiot on September 21, 2008

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Young Gordon Ramsey

Ever wondered what Gordon Ramsey was f*@#$! like when he was a f*@#$! little kid? I have to say, I've watched Ramsey's f*@#$! Kitchen and found myself wondering what he was f*@#$! like at primary f*@#$! school. I guess it's one of life's little f*@#$! mysteries.

This clip is basically what I'd have imagined Gordon f*@#$! Ramsey to be like as a kid. Enjoy.

8 QUART 95 COPPER STOCK POT GORDON RAMSEY NIB 8 QUART 95 COPPER STOCK POT GORDON RAMSEY NIB Paypal US $120.00 24d 3h 10m
TV GUIDE MAGAZINE LOST HELLS KITCHEN GORDON RAMSEY TV GUIDE MAGAZINE LOST HELLS KITCHEN GORDON RAMSEY Paypal US $9.71 22d 20h 26m
5 QUART GORDON RAMSEY ROYAL DOULTON STAINLESS STEEL POT 5 QUART GORDON RAMSEY ROYAL DOULTON STAINLESS STEEL POT Paypal US $99.00 26d 2h 18m

Posted under Funny Ads, Videos

This post was written by VikingIdiot on September 18, 2008

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Monkey catches a tiger by the tail

Here's some further proof that monkeys are not that far separated from humans.

On the scale of stupid things to do, taunting a tiger, or grabbing a tiger by its tail would have to be towards the 'really quite stupid' end.

Based on this clip both monkey and man have the propensity for extreme stupidity and therefore, my non-scientific judgment suggests that man and monkey are not all that dissimilar.

magic tricks cups and balls magicians monkey fist magic tricks cups and balls magicians monkey fist Paypal 2 Bids US $1.04 3h 3m
MAGIC MONKEY AMAZING PLAYING CYMBAL GREAT FUN RARE MAGIC MONKEY AMAZING PLAYING CYMBAL GREAT FUN RARE Paypal US $9.99 7h 50m
MONKEY MAGIC COMPLETE COLLECTION NEW 13 DVD BOX SET MONKEY MAGIC COMPLETE COLLECTION NEW 13 DVD BOX SET Paypal US $85.69 13d 15h 37m
Mens Monkey Magic Chinese Warrior Fancy Dress Costume Mens Monkey Magic Chinese Warrior Fancy Dress Costume Paypal US $54.11 20d 14h 27m

If you want more monkey check out Kung Fu Monkey Magic

Posted under Animal Crackers, Videos

This post was written by VikingIdiot on September 17, 2008

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