VikingIdiot » Stupid http://www.vikingidiot.com Stupid people doing stupid things. Mon, 04 May 2009 05:43:57 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 en hourly 1 The signs of stupidity http://www.vikingidiot.com/the-signs-of-stupidity/ http://www.vikingidiot.com/the-signs-of-stupidity/#comments Tue, 03 Feb 2009 02:47:00 +0000 VikingIdiot http://www.vikingidiot.com/?p=87 There is no shortage of stupid signs out there. I guess that's because 'the man' feels like everything needs to carry a disclaimer these days in order to protect themselves against lawsuit happy citizens.

While the road network does not have a monopoly on idiotic signage, it more than has its fair share.

Take this sign as a perfect example, and possible nomination for the Captain Obvious awards.

Then there is this one, that just defies logic. No points for guessing what's wrong here either.

I look at this sign below, and all that pops into my head is 'why?'

And last but certainly not least, moving away from the road side, my personal favorite, a nice little safety advisory sign.
NEW UNABRIDGED Stupid White Men by Michael Moore NEW UNABRIDGED Stupid White Men by Michael Moore Paypal 0 Bid US $.99 26m
Obama stupid people shouldnt vote bumper sticker anti Obama stupid people shouldnt vote bumper sticker anti Paypal 2 Bids US $3.25 29m
GANG STARR MAKE IT IN LIFE STUPID MUTHAFCKAS GANG STARR MAKE IT IN LIFE STUPID MUTHAFCKAS Paypal 0 Bid US $.99 32m
T shirt XL Light faster sound people bright stupid T shirt XL Light faster sound people bright stupid Paypal 0 Bid US $9.99 54m
Ernest Scared Stupid VHS 1992 Ernest Scared Stupid VHS 1992 Paypal 0 Bid US $1.99 1h 9m
]]> http://www.vikingidiot.com/the-signs-of-stupidity/feed/ 0 The Best of Bogan http://www.vikingidiot.com/the-best-of-bogan/ http://www.vikingidiot.com/the-best-of-bogan/#comments Mon, 22 Sep 2008 00:11:10 +0000 VikingIdiot http://www.vikingidiot.com/?p=29 If you're in the market for some bogan jokes, then here are a few that may inspire you.

Q. What do you call a 30 year old bogan girl?
A. Grandma.

Q. Why did the bogan girl cross the road?
A. To start a fight with a complete stranger for no reason whatsoever.

Q. What do you call a bogan girl in a white tracksuit?
A. The bride.

Q. What's the first question during a bogan quiz night?
A. What you looking at?

Q. Two bogan kids in a car without any music - who is driving?
A. The policeman.

Q. What's the difference between a bogan boy and a bogan girl?
A. A bogan girl has a higher sperm count.

Q. What does a bogan girl use as protection during sex?
A. A bus shelter.

Q. How do you know if you're a bogan?
A. You let your 15 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table... in front of her kids.

Q. If you are driving and you see a bogan on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?
A. It might be your bike.

------

A bogan walked into the centerlink office, marched straight up to the counter and said, 'Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job.'

The worker behind the counter said, 'Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful 30 year old daughter.

You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, and he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips and you will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The salary is $200,000 a year.'

The guy, wide-eyed, said, 'You're bullsh!ttin' me!'

The Centerlink worker said, 'Yeah, well . . . you started it.'

------

Davo was bragging to Bazza one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."
Tired of his boasting, Bazza called his bluff "OK, Davo, how about Tom Cruise?"

"No drama's mate, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."

So Davo and Bazza fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door and Tom Cruise shouts, "Davo! What's happenin?!? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!"

Although impressed, Bazza is still sceptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells him that he thinks Davo's knowing Cruise was just lucky.

"No, no, just name anyone else," Davo says.

"President Bush," his Bazza quickly retorts.

"Yup," Davo says, "Old buddies, let's fly out to Washington."

And off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Davo on the tour and motions him and Bazza over, saying, "Davo, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."

Well, Bazza is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Davo, who again implores him to name anyone else.

"The Pope," Bazza replies.

"Sure!" says Davo. "My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time."

So off they fly to Rome. Davo and Bazza are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Davo says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."

Davo disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Davo emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time Davo returns, he finds that Bazza is in shock, surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to Bazzas' side, Davo asks him, "What happened?"

Bazza looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said... "Who the *****'s that on the balcony with Davo?”

------

Here's a bogan related treat, a bogan bird on the 3.41 Connex train to Frankston (allegedly). Someone has "issshuuueess".

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My personal favorite quote taken from the YouTube comments was courtesy of someone called ucanhateme98:

even when she cusses it sounds so elegant!! lmfao I LOVE HER!

Public transport might be a lot of things, but it could never be accused of being boring!
FAB BOGAN MULLET 80S ROCK WIG BLONDE COSTUME PARTY NEW FAB BOGAN MULLET 80S ROCK WIG BLONDE COSTUME PARTY NEW Paypal US $20.75 16d 13h 26m
Bogan Pride Rebel Wilson Sally Anne Upton DVD NEW Bogan Pride Rebel Wilson Sally Anne Upton DVD NEW Paypal US $19.83 12d 5h 41m
SMOKING OK Funny Warning sticker for Bogan VN Commodore SMOKING OK Funny Warning sticker for Bogan VN Commodore Paypal 0 Bid US $3.57 15h 21m
]]> http://www.vikingidiot.com/the-best-of-bogan/feed/ 1 Two dimwits and a paint ball gun http://www.vikingidiot.com/two-dimwits-and-a-paint-ball-gun/ http://www.vikingidiot.com/two-dimwits-and-a-paint-ball-gun/#comments Thu, 11 Sep 2008 12:35:45 +0000 VikingIdiot http://www.vikingidiot.com/?p=5 What happens when you take one paint ball gun and throw in a couple of dim wits? One guy shoots another guy in the nut sack of course.

Even though you now know what is going to happen, chances are you'll still want to hit play. This one is actually worth it for the slow motion sound effect at the end where the guy receiving the paint ball to the lolly bags lets out the agonizing grown.

Moral of the story. Well there are two really. 1) Don't voluntarily stand in the firing line, and 2) if you are stupid enough to volunteer, at least wear some sort of cup or whack a phone book down there or something.

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I like one of the comments someone left on this video on YouTube:

That guy who got shot should put a hot dog in an old sock for a week. Then wait until the guy who shot him is sleeping and slip the hot dog in his mouth.

Personally, I believe that had the guy, with what must now be a non-functioning nut sack, grabbed the paint ball gun, jammed the muzzle up the shooters poop shoot, and pulled the trigger half a dozen times, he would have been well within his rights.

Speaking of nut sack, have you read the story about the man that got a nut stuck on his penis?

A Malaysian welder had to have a nut removed from around his penis after an attempt to lengthen it before he gets engaged next week went embarrassingly wrong.

You can read more on that story here. Wow.

]]> http://www.vikingidiot.com/two-dimwits-and-a-paint-ball-gun/feed/ 0 Car park shenanigans http://www.vikingidiot.com/car-park-shenanigans/ http://www.vikingidiot.com/car-park-shenanigans/#comments Thu, 11 Sep 2008 11:10:24 +0000 VikingIdiot http://www.vikingidiot.com/?p=7 This video clip is excruciating. Until I saw this, I always thought the act of leaving a car parking garage was a relatively simple one. Now however, I stand corrected.

You'd think if you were driving a Mercedes you'd like to take good care of it, maybe go that extra yard just to make sure you don't get a scratch on it.

Hopefully this person's next car is a 1980 model Toyota Corolla, because by the looks of it, that's still a lot more than they deserve.

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On second viewing though I'm wondering if this person is actually stupid or if they are just a giant tight ass and this was an extravagant ploy to get out of paying for parking?

]]> http://www.vikingidiot.com/car-park-shenanigans/feed/ 0 Stupid guy and his truck http://www.vikingidiot.com/stupid-guy-and-his-truck/ http://www.vikingidiot.com/stupid-guy-and-his-truck/#comments Thu, 11 Sep 2008 09:42:19 +0000 VikingIdiot http://www.vikingidiot.com/?p=9 For some reason, stupid people like to show off, and lucky for us, capture their stupidity on tape. I now present Exhibit A.

Ever been driving along and then found yourself thinking, 'gee, I think I'd like to climb up on to the roof now'? No? Me neither, but this scholar obviously did.

It's a perfectly decent freakin' vehicle, why climb out and hope on the roof... while it's still moving???

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Seriously, this nut job was lucky there was no one on the foot path, and if you watch it closely, he is also lucky not to be an entrant in the Darwin Awards. That rear wheel gets very close to running over his head. Someone needs to remind him to keep his hands in the 10 o'clock and 2 o'clock position.

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