Nine words women use and what they mean

This is a useful little guide, I received via email, for all the guys out there that often find themselves in the middle of a sh!t storm and don't remember even seeing any clouds rolling in.

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' .. that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

Tastes like chicken

Anyone that has spent anytime in the kitchen will be able to tell you that there is always a right way to do things, and there is always a wrong way to do things.

I'm guessing that this is most definitely true when it comes to foot presentation. If presentation speaks volumes about a chef, then what is the creator of this masterpiece yelling to the world?

Mmmm... tastes like chicken?

Is Sombrero Spanish for sunscreen

Being a geek, I spend a lot of time indoors. In summer, I'm a high risk of sun burn. Often this results in me walking around whinging for a few days until the old skin peels off Goldmember style.

I've also wanted a sombrero for a very long time. Probably since that episode of Seinfeld, the one with the urban sombrero.

Does anyone know if sombrero is Spanish for sunscreen?