Kung Fu Monkey Magic

Have you ever seen one of the "Every Which Way..." movies with Clint Eastwood and his monkey... that sounds kind of wrong... in any case, the monkey/chimp/whatever you want to call it, stole the show.

If a film studio ever decides that it's time to make a real live version of Monkey Magic, using an actual monkey, then I think we have found the ideal candidate.

Mens Monkey Magic Great Sage Chinese Warrior Fancy Dress Halloween Costume Mens Monkey Magic Great Sage Chinese Warrior Fancy Dress Halloween Costume Paypal US $59.17 20d 13h 45m
Blow Monkeys Animal Magic vintage 1986 poster Dr Robert promo only Blow Monkeys Animal Magic vintage 1986 poster Dr Robert promo only Paypal US $20.00 6h 20m
Antique 30s 40s Magic Lantern Glass Slide Monkeys See No Evil Antique 30s 40s Magic Lantern Glass Slide Monkeys See No Evil Paypal 0 Bid US $10.00 6h 34m

Two dimwits and a paint ball gun

What happens when you take one paint ball gun and throw in a couple of dim wits? One guy shoots another guy in the nut sack of course.

Even though you now know what is going to happen, chances are you'll still want to hit play. This one is actually worth it for the slow motion sound effect at the end where the guy receiving the paint ball to the lolly bags lets out the agonizing grown.

Moral of the story. Well there are two really. 1) Don't voluntarily stand in the firing line, and 2) if you are stupid enough to volunteer, at least wear some sort of cup or whack a phone book down there or something.

I like one of the comments someone left on this video on YouTube:

That guy who got shot should put a hot dog in an old sock for a week. Then wait until the guy who shot him is sleeping and slip the hot dog in his mouth.

Personally, I believe that had the guy, with what must now be a non-functioning nut sack, grabbed the paint ball gun, jammed the muzzle up the shooters poop shoot, and pulled the trigger half a dozen times, he would have been well within his rights.

Speaking of nut sack, have you read the story about the man that got a nut stuck on his penis?

A Malaysian welder had to have a nut removed from around his penis after an attempt to lengthen it before he gets engaged next week went embarrassingly wrong.

You can read more on that story here. Wow.

Car park shenanigans

This video clip is excruciating. Until I saw this, I always thought the act of leaving a car parking garage was a relatively simple one. Now however, I stand corrected.

You'd think if you were driving a Mercedes you'd like to take good care of it, maybe go that extra yard just to make sure you don't get a scratch on it.

Hopefully this person's next car is a 1980 model Toyota Corolla, because by the looks of it, that's still a lot more than they deserve.

On second viewing though I'm wondering if this person is actually stupid or if they are just a giant tight ass and this was an extravagant ploy to get out of paying for parking?

Stupid guy and his truck

For some reason, stupid people like to show off, and lucky for us, capture their stupidity on tape. I now present Exhibit A.

Ever been driving along and then found yourself thinking, 'gee, I think I'd like to climb up on to the roof now'? No? Me neither, but this scholar obviously did.

It's a perfectly decent freakin' vehicle, why climb out and hope on the roof... while it's still moving???

Seriously, this nut job was lucky there was no one on the foot path, and if you watch it closely, he is also lucky not to be an entrant in the Darwin Awards. That rear wheel gets very close to running over his head. Someone needs to remind him to keep his hands in the 10 o'clock and 2 o'clock position.

Welcome to the Viking Idiot

Welcome, if you found your way here then I apologize that this is all you've found. What this will become is anyone's guess, I don't actually know myself.

Vi·king
–noun (sometimes lowercase)
1. any of the Scandinavian pirates who plundered the coasts of Europe from the 8th to 10th centuries.
2. a sea-roving bandit; pirate.

id·i·ot
–noun
1. an utterly foolish or senseless person.
2. Psychology. a person of the lowest order in a former classification of mental retardation, having a mental age of less than three years old and an intelligence quotient under 25.

In the meantime, here are some Viking related eBay auctions for you to peruse.

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