Ever seen a grown man raised by birds?

The Skittles Leak Ad is one of my all time favorite ads. If you want to check out some of the other Skittles ads I highly recommend them.

The Skittles ad below is just as bizarre as any of the other ones I've seen. Bizarre yet strangely compelling.

Ever seen a grown man raised by birds?

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Posted under Bizarre Ads, Videos

This post was written by VikingIdiot on September 29, 2008

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An idiots guide to bogan etiquette

Here's handy tips to help people understand the finer points of bogan etiquette.

IN GENERAL

1. Never take an open stubby to a job interview.

2. Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them.

3. It's tacky to take an esky to church.

4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.

5. Even if you're certain you're included in the will, it's rude to take your Ute and trailer to the funeral.

DINING OUT

1. When decanting wine from the box, tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to bruise the wine.

2. If drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one hand.

ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME

1. A centrepiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.

2. Don't allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners are.

PERSONAL HYGIENE

1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in private, using one's own ute keys.

2. Even if you live alone, deodorant isn't a waste of money.

3. Extensive use of deodorant can only delay bathing by a few days.

4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no, it alters the taste of finger foods and if you are a woman it can draw attention away from your jewellery.

DATING

1. Always offer to bait your date's hook - especially on the first date.

2. Be assertive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you ever since I read that stuff on the dunny door two years ago."

3. Establish with her parents what time she's expected back. Some will say 11:00 PM , others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it's the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.

CINEMA ETIQUETTE

1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the movie ends.

2. Refrain from yelling abuse at characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.

WEDDINGS

1. Livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift.

2. Kissing the bride for more than five seconds may cause a drop in your popularity. (Excessive use of the tongue is also considered out of place)

3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A tracksuit with a cummerbund and a clean football jumper can create a Tacky appearance.

4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for the occasion.

DRIVING ETIQUETTE

1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if your gun's loaded and the roo's in your rifle sight.

2. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.

3. When sending your wife down the road with a petrol can, it's impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.

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Posted under Stupid Jokes

This post was written by VikingIdiot on September 26, 2008

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The Heart Attack Grill – taste to die for

When I first got forwarded the email about the "Heart Attack Grill" I had to do a Google search to find out if the place was real or not. Turns out that it is.

The Heart Attack Grill is a Chandler, Arizona burger restaurant that has become internationally known for incredibly large unhealthy hamburgers and due to being criticized by the Arizona Board of Nursing and Baltimore-based Center for Nursing Advocacy for putting its waitresses in naughty nurse uniforms. Located at 6185 W Chandler Boulevard (Kyrene Blvd & Chandler Road) in Chandler, Arizona.

The Heart Attack Grill has also been described as "nutritional pornography".

The Heart Attack Grill has stirred up a little controversy, largely due to the "Naughty Nurse" waiting staff. The Center for Nursing Advocacy weren't happy with the whole "Naught Nurse" thing, in particular the fishnet stockings, short skirts, low-cut tops and the role playing.


Read More...

Posted under Food Stuff, Pictures

This post was written by VikingIdiot on September 25, 2008

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Collingwood theme song and a butt trumpet

I'm not usually a big fan of the 'sports comedy', but with the anticipation leading up to this weekends AFL grand final building, this little cartoon fell into my inbox at just the right time. Besides that, I did find this one kind of funny.

If you're not an AFL fan, just replace "Collingwood" with any team, from any sport, that you have a strong disliking of, and I'm sure you'll get the point.

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Posted under Animal Crackers, Cartoons

This post was written by VikingIdiot on September 24, 2008

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The Best of Bogan

If you're in the market for some bogan jokes, then here are a few that may inspire you.

Q. What do you call a 30 year old bogan girl?
A. Grandma.

Q. Why did the bogan girl cross the road?
A. To start a fight with a complete stranger for no reason whatsoever.

Q. What do you call a bogan girl in a white tracksuit?
A. The bride.

Q. What's the first question during a bogan quiz night?
A. What you looking at?

Q. Two bogan kids in a car without any music - who is driving?
A. The policeman.

Q. What's the difference between a bogan boy and a bogan girl?
A. A bogan girl has a higher sperm count.

Q. What does a bogan girl use as protection during sex?
A. A bus shelter.

Q. How do you know if you're a bogan?
A. You let your 15 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table... in front of her kids.

Q. If you are driving and you see a bogan on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?
A. It might be your bike.

------

A bogan walked into the centerlink office, marched straight up to the counter and said, 'Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job.'

The worker behind the counter said, 'Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful 30 year old daughter.

You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, and he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips and you will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The salary is $200,000 a year.'

The guy, wide-eyed, said, 'You're bullsh!ttin' me!'

The Centerlink worker said, 'Yeah, well . . . you started it.'
Read More...

Posted under Stupid, Stupid Jokes, Videos

This post was written by VikingIdiot on September 22, 2008

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Monkey Lord of the Dance

Ahhhh dancing monkeys. Is there anything better?

Apparently Michael Flatley trained these monkeys for three years, teaching them all the moves, receiving nothing but bananas for a reward. The monkey's themselves were paid $50 a day.

If you want to check out some other stupid monkey stuff, go have a gander at this monkey pulling a tigers tail... stupid stupid monkey...

Let's dance!

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Posted under Animal Crackers, Videos

This post was written by VikingIdiot on September 21, 2008

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Young Gordon Ramsey

Ever wondered what Gordon Ramsey was f*@#$! like when he was a f*@#$! little kid? I have to say, I've watched Ramsey's f*@#$! Kitchen and found myself wondering what he was f*@#$! like at primary f*@#$! school. I guess it's one of life's little f*@#$! mysteries.

This clip is basically what I'd have imagined Gordon f*@#$! Ramsey to be like as a kid. Enjoy.

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Posted under Funny Ads, Videos

This post was written by VikingIdiot on September 18, 2008

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Monkey catches a tiger by the tail

Here's some further proof that monkeys are not that far separated from humans.

On the scale of stupid things to do, taunting a tiger, or grabbing a tiger by its tail would have to be towards the 'really quite stupid' end.

Based on this clip both monkey and man have the propensity for extreme stupidity and therefore, my non-scientific judgment suggests that man and monkey are not all that dissimilar.

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If you want more monkey check out Kung Fu Monkey Magic

Posted under Animal Crackers, Videos

This post was written by VikingIdiot on September 17, 2008

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Inappropriate kids puzzle

Here's another example (have you seen the slide?) of what happens when you get an idiot to create a kids product.

If this is in fact real, I sure hope that the proof reader is now working in another field.

Posted under Pictures, Wrong Town

This post was written by VikingIdiot on September 15, 2008

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Inappropriate slide design

I watched this clip, then felt a little bit wrong. I can't quite put my finger on it, but there's no doubting that there is something very very wrong with the design of this inflatable slide. Maybe the slide designer was going for some metaphorical performance art style piece?

I can't figure out whether the person that designed this kids slide was a complete idiot or an absolute deviant.

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Posted under Videos, Wrong Town

This post was written by VikingIdiot on September 15, 2008

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